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HIV Tales from my diary- tale 4.

The excitement of attending an international conference on sexually transmitted diseases for the fresh MD pass out was no less exciting than sex itself. It was the beginning of ninth decade of last century, when I had this opportunity. The conference was held in national capital making my attendance along with couple of friends easy. The conference was pregnant with the discourses on the newest and deadliest virus affecting those indulging in Sex specially the unnatural one. Like all our leaders religious and political ones we also thought we are God fearing nation and don’t indulge in unnatural things. Little did we realize that the virus has already started crawling in our own backyard. Reports of first cases were trickling from metro cities where sex was not only talked openly but also traded openly. Being doctors from small and that too religious town ,Amritsar , we were sure – the death through this virus can never descent upon our skies. The thinking was like that of a pigeon. The pigeon who on seeing the hostile cat moving towards him, closes his eyes in the hope that cat won’t see him. The pigeon in me , however, did not close eyes. Just after returning , I floated an idea and friends joined hands. We formed an NGO. Soon we were almost celebrities knowing all about HIV and AIDS. All talks in our region started revolving around us. We started delivering preventive lectures , educating doctors. The name and fame so acquired forced us to learn treatment modalities as well. The alphabets of treatment of HIV started unfolding and world had first combination of drugs saving lives. 

 My own clientele of HIV patients also started swelling and affected started approaching me. 

Prateek ( name changed ) was one such patient who was referred to me by an Indian authority on the disease from economic capital of the country . Mumbai walas, patients and doctors alike ,were much more ahead in understanding the disease as compared to those like me practicing in limited resources in terms of patient material and availability of drugs , and even diagnostics. 

Prateek’s presence in my clinical life changed the colors of walls all around. His queries will force me to look further and farther for new additions to my understanding of the subject. Each of his query gave new words and their meanings. to jumbled alphabets of HIV treatment, I was playing with. 

Time was now on real wings. The available antiretroviral drugs were becoming meaningless for Prateek’s life. On retrospect , today , I  realize that his drug regimen was failing due to viral resistance and so was his hopeful vision about survival. 

Both of us knew that our relationship is on the verge of termination. 

One day Prateek called. This time his call was like a final boarding call of a flight leaving for a distant unknown destination. Guessing his psyche, I decided to visit his home for the first and last time. On reaching there , I found him extremely sick yet full of spirit and sensed life coming back to his dieing body on seeing me. He also has a great sense of understanding others emotions. Reading my mind , rightly or wrongly , he asked his HIV negative wife to bring a cold drink for me and went in to explain,” I know doc, you won’t share tea with me an HIV victim, as I can’t provide tea in separate cutlery!!!!????”.

The whole lot of knowledge ,I used to disseminate to general public about the spread of disease and non discrimination came to a ” test”. A person ,on death bed ,wanted me a person who was to live and can afford telling lies, to speak the truth- that was the paradox. May be he was testing the bookish knowledge of mine and trying to put that to reality check. 

The human in me the HIV doctor became humane in no time. 

I refused to accept the cold drink and asked his wife to get me not only a cup of tea but also some cookies along with. 

Prateek was so happy with my gesture that he asked his wife to handover his personal diary ,after his death , to me. Next day , he bid adieu to the world and left a widow and a son and a diary for me. 

Going through the pages of life and emotions , I came to know the reality of discrimination one suffers if he is a victim of a disease like this. He suffered at the hands of society including medical world around him in proportions which can’t find alphabets to describe the word ” agonizingly agony”. 

The only satisfaction ,the doctor in me ,has that ,his last day was devoid of discrimination. His doctor had tea and cookies in same cup and saucer which he was having. 

Rest In Peace Prateek. 

Rakesh Bharti