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HIV Tales from my diary – Tale 7 

As the party grew in its girth and stature , as the night started becoming young , the old man ( so called , as now onwards, he will not be considered ,fit to work at same place where he was fit till yesterday , day before or last year for no reason ) started bowing down under the weight of gifts given to him. Culmination of party needed a tip of an iceberg to explode on the tunes of DJ wale babu. The customary cake was in sight soon. This was followed by some reminiscing moment. People were asked to say few words about the person. The moment this Pandora box was opened, friends and acquaintances started showering advises. The advises about how to lead a retired life. The advises of how not to do certain things , as if to overtly pointing out his deficiencies in his life so far. The advises to fulfill his unfilled desires. . If Ganges is in full flow then even atheists will love to take a dip, so how could one remain sitting on the banks. Jaggi ( friends used to address Jagtar by this nick name) did not remain a mute spectator for long. He too took a plunge in the river and took advantage of the opportunity created. He gave his piece of mind too. Jaggi said ,” thank you all for coming and your advises. I wish I could have followed all but my wish is to do nothing and chill at home visit places, go traveling around the world. Sorry to disappoint you guys for not heeding to your words of wisdom but then this is my plan. ”  
Sermons over and the gyrating time arrived. 

DJ wale babu invited one and all to the floor and show ” Dharmendra ” skills. Some however had “Hritik “skills too and the old man who has just retired joined the dancing gang with Retyred enthusiasm. 

The whole night , thereafter , he was dreaming and planning his visits to far and wide. He had already got his daughter married and his only son , just after a master’s degree under his belt got a MNC appointment. 

No liabilities and all ability to be a free bird. 

The lazy morning’s laze of next day , however ,was broken by the demand of Ramneek , his son , to accompany him to a specialist. It was his fever for last few days which was not playing truant despite family doctors best efforts. Since it was his first post retirement day bowed to his son’s request but as there was no hurry, Jagtar fixed an appointment for the evening. He thought he will go to the doctor after getting the investigations prescribed by the family doctor. At the fixed hour, father and son collected the reports and asked the laboratory in charge about them. His answer was not very peasant. Lab guy advised to see some doctor good at viral diseases and recommended my name. Jagtar’s wife at this point of time insisted to accompany. 

I still remember, when the trio reached my chamber. Their unease was very palpable. Jagtar told me that it was only yesterday that he has retired and has great plans post retirement which seems to have crashed. The couple broke down in no time and the young son was at his worst lost mood. I tried to gauze the whole scenario , utilized my all skills of counseling and convinced them that the preliminary reports can be wrong too , despite knowing the reality. This postponement of declaring doom was sure to act as a cushion to griefy days ahead, I thought. What followed in those days of hardly any medication to treat HIV can be beyond imagination of all those who have not suffered any chronic ailment in their lives. It was like waiting endlessly for the music of life to die off any moment. Jagtar and his family , even the extended one ,were brave hearts. They all were fighters true to the caste they belonged to- warriors, brave, Sikhs and that too Jats. They pooled their resources and could manage HIV medicines even from abroad as by then they were not available in the country. Ramneek started showing signs of improvement with the dual therapy ( Zidovudine and Lamivudine) available at that time. He wanted to join his company too but the fear of getting his HIV status known to the world stopped him in his tracks. Jagtar and Ramneek started a small business and were happy again. They kept visiting me , for tests on time and medicine , which became available by then , locally ,although at a high cost. 

Couple of years rolled down as smoothly as a Rolls Royce on Paris roads forgetting the broken roads of Amritsar. But then grounding had to occur, after all, how long one can be air borne. The efficacy of two drugs was on the wean. The weaning off effect of drugs was bumpy. Ramneek started falling ill again. The third drug for HIV has by now become available too and he was switched to a new combination of three drugs. The tragedy was not yet over. Opportunistic infections found their play ground. He fell victim to pneumocystis carinii pneumonia. The diagnosis of which was delayed due to the lack of exposure to the agent causing the disease by the chest physicians of the town. They kept on treating him for TB. Anti tubercular drugs with drugs used and available at that time together conspired to shut his ” liver shop” and the dreaded day arrived. While I was returning from Ramneek’s room after declaring the eternal truth , Jagtar came running to me. 

For a moment , I thought I have committed a mistake , which no doctor should ever commit. I thought and wished , I declared him dead wrongly. 

But ,Jaggi ( by now Jagtar has become Jaggi for me too) has some other purpose to come to me. He came to request me to not to attend the funeral of his son. Jaggi was thinking that my presence in cremation ground will send wrong signals for the society ,specially that society, where his roots were dug deep and which believes that his brilliant son unfortunately was suffering from a cancer and not HIV. He never wanted the presence of a physician who openly declares himself to be a “HIV PHYSICIAN” even in the cremation ground. He thought people may think his son died of AIDS. Jagtar feared he shall be ostracized in the society, if it comes to know the real ailment of his son. 

I felt more ostracized at that moment then he feared for himself but bowing to his wishes I did not attend Ramneek’s cremation. 

The prick ,Jaggi gave ,to my persona , however was a game changer.  

I was determined to do something. 

After the usual grief period of forty days , I decided to have a cup of tea with Jaggi at his place of convenience. Cup of tea , spilled over to few drinks and the night ended on a grand note. 

Jaggi was now all set to start a new life. He joined a course in social service ,in the local university ,with an aim to shoot the ostracism against HIV in the society. 

His retirement achieved new tyres and he returned to the game of life with retyred zeal. He might have lost his son ,but has many more now , in his fold . He does everything to prevent the disease amongst youth , he does everything to make people learn ways to live with dignity even with the disease. Every year , he calls me for an annual function of his NGO , which can boast itself to be first of its kind and boldest and biggest. Now I no more repent not paying my last respects to Ramneek. Although I do wish many Jaggi’s fighting ostracism to sufferers of any ailment but I don’t wish anymore Ramneek’s to fall pray to HIV 

Rakesh Bharti